Everyone is on a journey…. and everyone has a story…. I would like to share mine with you.
My journey began 11 years ago…. From one day to the next the life I knew as a mother, wife, woman came to a screeching end. I was in a 13-year marriage with the same man that I spent my entire teenage years with. Twenty years of my life came to an end and I wondered if it had all been a lie! I truly was unaware that my marriage was filled with lies, deceit, and infidelity. I believe as woman we all have that innate intuition, a god given gift…. but will we listen to it? For me being a good mother was all I wanted and my children were my world! So I chose to live blindly on some level…I sometimes wonder if my intuition was trying to tell me the truth through my dreams, nagging unsettled feelings, questions with no answers…. As I sit here writing I am quickly transported to that time, my emotions are raw and very present. That does not mean I have not healed or dealt with the wounds of the past, it means I am human and I am alive. I was suddenly a single mom with two young kids and the man I had known for the past 20 years was involved in a relationship with a woman 10 years younger.
Immediately I went to all those places we go to in our minds when we have been abandoned. Am I not good enough? Am I not pretty enough? My body must not be fit enough? Was I not a good wife? The reality is “You can’t keep someone you’ve never had.” The 4 months that followed I fell into despair and depression. Many days I could not get out of bed. My mom was always there for me at a moment’s notice. She would routinely come to my aid and care for my kids so I could cry and sleep. I behaved irrational and emotional. I was truly a broken woman. Four months after my separation I filed for divorce. Six months into my separation my ex-husband wanted back in the marriage….he had a “change of heart” this was a defining moment for me because in those 6 months so much had been shown to me. God, The Universe, Mother Mary, My Angels…they showed me the truth, they slowly lifted the veil and showed me the truth. Now it was my turn to stand up, to face it, go forward in fear, with no money, no job, no real skills.
God knows what’s coming, the Universe will send things your way to prepare you if you pay attention… Thank goodness I paid attention! About 8 months prior to that fateful day a friend invited me to experience something called “Reiki” energy healing. I was a little confused, “What is this?” I asked. “Keep an open mind,” she said, “I think you will love it.” After that first session, which also included some heart to heart counseling with the practitioner, I left the office feeling “lifted” my soul felt lighter and I could feel something was definitely shifting within me. My husband thought I was crazy and made fun of me and my “energy healing.” I continued to visit Rosy my Reiki practitioner during those 8 months because quite frankly it felt amazing and so peaceful. I quickly realized that I stumbled upon energetic healing because God was preparing me for what was to come. I hit rock bottom and now I was being built up again, brick by brick, to the woman I would one day become.
In the years that followed I slowly learned how to live this new life as a single mom with two young kids. If It had not been for my family, friends, and help I received through spiritual counseling I would not be the woman I am today. I chose Love, Trust, and Compassion. If there is one thing I know, It’s that we cannot do this alone. I threw myself into everything I felt gave my soul peace. Prayer, energy healing, self-help books, books on angels and the metaphysical. I loved every second of it and I knew that nothing in this life is an accident. One particular book had a huge impact on my life, it was “A Woman’s Worth” by Marianne Williamson. Reading this book was so magical and healing for me, I remember the day I connected to the Divine Feminine. I had no idea I could be so much more than what I was allowing myself to be. I had no idea a Goddess lived within me…This was the beginning of my journey and connection to the Divine Feminine, The Goddess. Since that day many years ago I learned what is to truly connect to the divine feminine, heal the divine feminine and Embody the divine feminine.
I have always had a love of health and fitness, it has been a huge passion of mine for many years! So it was no surprise my outlet during this time was exercise! The gym quickly became my best friend. I loved the way it made me feel, the confidence it gave me, the happiness and sense of accomplishment I felt after every workout! I love strength training so I learned everything I could about training techniques and nutrition. I became certified as a personal trainer, my main goal was to help other women get fit and feel confident! If I could be of help or be a source of inspiration to one woman I would be happy. I followed that path for many years and also worked in the beauty field. For me, it was another way to help women feel beautiful and at the same time build long lasting friendships. I know as women we too often lose our identity in the pursuit of motherhood or a happy marriage. We forget that before we can take care of others we must first take care of ourselves.
Looking back I realized that my divorce was the best thing that could have happened to me…you see, I was “Asleep.” Asleep in life, living day by day going through the motions, no real passions, no desire for something more. I think you get the picture… of course, I was happy on the outside, I LOVE my children and LOVE being a mom. But is that all there is to me? I knew there was more, I just didn’t know what it was yet. I will mention that I did go through a spiritual awakening at this time or at least the beginning of it, and it has only progressed over the years. We are given this one chance to make a difference, to create a life with purpose. This is where my journey comes full circle, it is because of my life experience and sincere desire to help other women that I am lead back to the very place that saved me. To God, to my Spirituality and to a career that is centered around coaching, healing and helping women connect to the Goddess within them. The Goddess awakens in your heart before she can awaken to the world…..
Maybe something in my story reminds you of your past? Or of your present? Maybe as a woman, you just simply relate. Or maybe you too are ready for a change.